Reply All Forever
Always nice to hear from a fan
Cool poster! I gotta get out and heckle you one of these days at your show. LOL just kidding (or am I???) but someone needs to take you down a peg, right? Like when I pansted you in science class. Classic!
Show’s at the brewery, huh? Great place, great place. I helped them open that spot up – well, the old owners. I was working HVAC when they first put the tanks in. Neighborhood gets “a little dark” after sundown if you know what I mean LOL (prolly gonna get banned for saying that here on Wokebook but whatever!!!!)
Tell you what, mention to the new crew in there that if they wanna keep a bar open, the first rule is to not shit on their best customers and take some snooty bitch’s side when she whines about a guy just trying to say hi and buy her a drink. I dunno if you remember how many bad Yelp reviews I left them – remember I was actually kicked off here for a while ‘cause of it?
Anyway, break a leg, or whatever you showbiz homos say. You need to get on TV! Have you tried calling Comedy Central? I bet they’d be impressed with someone who shows a little hustle, since people don’t wanna work these days. I tagged them in one of your posts a year, year and a half ago, so they prolly already have their eye on ya, who knows!
Oh speaking of which, you should put your skits up on the YouTube! More free advice for ya (I should be your manager LOL). People can’t always get out to the shows and it’d be awesome if you gave them a show to see on their phone. Maybe you could set your phone up this weekend and film the whole thing and put it up for us. It’s the least you can do for your biggest fans! And then I could watch it and give you some pointers.
You and your little friends are lucky I work seconds now! I’d love to get out there and do what you’re doing. No offense but I’m pretty sure I’d be mopping the floor with most of the “comedian” garbage I been seeing online. I went out to the Funny Bone a couple months ago, there was this free ticket thing, and the talent was… well, let’s just say their pronouns were sucks/ass LOL. They said they had comics from Bob and Tom sometimes, but I don’t think none of these “standups” had ever even been on the radio. I missed some of it because I was arguing with the manager about my chicken strips, but I’m sure I didn’t miss much!
But yeah, I’d love to get paid to just sit up there and tell jokes, and not have to sweat my balls off doing a real man’s work at Hemolifter. One of these days you gotta get me a spot, like when you get booked somewhere, what if they called your name but then my crazy ass just walked up there and spit some shit off the top of my head? I know, I know, that’s “not how it works,” but admit it, I’d be a tough act to follow! Remember when I used to make a fart noise every time Mr. Belinsky bent over or sat down? You can’t learn that kinda comedy, you’re just born with it, like Dane Cooks or them dudes in White Chicks.
(If you do ever hook that up, make sure it’s a Saturday, I can’t usually get weeknights off without like six weeks’ notice and I don’t wanna get up in front of some lame Wednesday night crowd of stiffs, LOL)
Anyway keep going bro! Keep posting your show dates! Ten years of doing this, that’s nuckin’ futs dude. One of these nights I’m gonna surprise you and make it out to one of your little “gigs.” Not this weekend, Danielle’s bein’ a real c-u-next-Tuesday about switching my weekends with Thraxtyn, but keep rockin’ man! Don’t forget your real supporters when you get famous!
This is so dead-on, I looked for a block button.
I don't know whether I should print this out, frame it, and put it in an art museum, or take my entire computer and throw it at a wall